“How are we suppose to accommodate the students if the school is not giving us the tools to help them, do you see the shit I have to go through,” said Whitney Brown. The image of Whitney’s frustrated and exhausted facial expression can be seen on many people’s faces all through out John Jay College of Criminal Justice for the fall 08 semester.
On August 19, 2008, Gov. David Paterson slashed $51 million dollars from the CUNY budget to cut state spending. The plan was introduced on July 30 of this year to address state finances for an economy Paterson could only described as "deteriorating."
The most common problem that every student at the college is facing is a 25 dollar raise in the technology fee for this semester. The small increase may not seem that bad on paper but students like Betzabel Felipe who has already taken out a small loan to pay for her tuition has something to complain about.
“I can’t stand how this damn tuition goes up every time I go to the Bursar’s Office, you can’t even go to school these days because the bill doesn’t even cover books,” said Felipe. Betzabel was lucky enough to receive a job at the college this semester but even the budget cuts are affecting her there, as well.
The payment that students receive from the school’s work study program has also gone down. The amount that a student would receive from working at the school was anywhere from 12 to 15 dollars two years ago but now the average amount is from 8 to 10 dollars which some students depend on to help them stay in school.
Other students like Akiele Reason have been force to drop most of his classes due to cut backs on Financial Aid and scholarships. “They told me that I was making too much money working at Sears, I’m not paying that entire tuition for five classes, I can only take two this semester,” said Reason.
Not only has the budget cut added on pressure for students to pay their bills on time but it has also limited their extra curricular activities as well. There are currently 17 official clubs in John Jay and they all will be expecting a deduction in funds that help support their events. The Student Council Department who handles the clubs in John Jay received a budget cut of 30,000 dollars from the amount they had a last year. The main problem has stemmed from an increase in enrollment in John Jay and the growth of new clubs. The Council can not take care of everyone.
Presidents and founders of the clubs are now facing the dilemma of how to keep their clubs from going under due to lack of funds. Founder of the John Jay Debate club Whitney Brown will have to manage without a promotion budget and a limited amount of traveling funds to help students get to debate tournaments. She claims that she has enough in the budget to send only half of the previous number of students to tournaments that she sent last semester.
Not only are the present clubs having trouble but the clubs that are trying to get started are not doing any better. Rachel Ramirez and Sif Az started the Fiction Writing Association three semesters ago. The Association is a club made for student to express their artistic side through writing exercise which is something that can help them in the future. The two have not received funding for the publication to put out student’s stories.
“The students are getting cheated out of their college years, plain and simple, just because we always have idiots in power,” said Ramirez
The budget cuts are expected to run through the entire 2008-09 and 2009-10 school years.
4 comments:
I liked your story a lot, I wish I could have made mine as short and straight to the chase, the only comment I could say is state where you got you statistics from, like the different pay rates and such.
Your article gave clear and concise information to the reader.
Some things that need tweaking are
spell out Governor for the first introduction of Governor Peterson.
$ and dollars are not necessary choose one.
either use "peterson described as" or "Peterson could only describe"
bolding is not necessary
it should be "Bursar's Office. You can't even..."
Who is Betzabel?
Should be "...this semester but, even the ..." and if you say even you don't need as well and no comma is necessary before as well.
sentence should be "other students, like Akiele Reason, have been forced (not force) to drop (change most to many and his to their) classes.
Sentence beginning "Not only has the budget" sounds odd retool.
Also, you should try and add some opinions of people who think the cuts are good, maybe someone from the economics department.
Sentence should be "artistic sides through writing exercises" subject verb agreement. and make sure you add a comma before which.
the comment by rameriz is out of place and doesn't make sense. also try to balance it out.
(if you want to talk to someone who thinks the budget cuts are necessary you can email me.)
Beyond your lead being more than the 30 words, I found this to be a great and well-informed article. It'd have been nice to get an official statement from the gov't side, but I know that can be difficult. But otherwise you get a lot in that really is important to us as students.
Personally I think it's outrageous and I can tell the problems that will be coming. I know Rachel and just became an editor for the FW club not long ago, and she has indeed been having to try to find ways to get this going, but has had so many obstacles.
Just include, if possible, where your sources are from and if really possible an official statement or quote from a government official on the matter.
“How are we suppose to accommodate the students if the school is not giving us the tools to help them, do you see the shit I have to go through,” said Whitney Brown. The image of Whitney’s frustrated and exhausted facial expression can be seen on many people’s faces all through out John Jay College of Criminal Justice for the fall 08 semester.
YOU NEED A NUT GRAF HERE THAT SETS UP WHAT THE STORY'S ABOUT. IT NEEDS TO ACCURATELY DESCRIBE THE EFFECTS OF PATTERSON'S BUDGET CUTS ON CUNY THIS YEAR AND ON JOHN JAY SPECIFICALLY. IT'S TOO VAGUE AS IT STANDS, AND THE CORRELATION IS FORCED RATHER THAN PROVEN EXPLICITLY. HOW, EXACTLY IS JJ SUFFERING, AND HOW HAS THE STUDENT ACTIVITIES' BUDGET THAT WHITNEY'S REFERRING TO BEEN IMPACTED? ALSO, YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO QUOTE YOUR CLASSMATES THIS SEMESTER.
On August 19, 2008, Gov. David Paterson slashed $51 million dollars from the CUNY budget to cut state spending. The plan was introduced on July 30 of this year to address state finances for an economy Paterson could only described as "deteriorating." TALK TO AN EXPERT ON CAMPUS AND ATTRIBUTE THIS. VP EANES MAYBE?
The most common problem that every student at the college is facing is a 25 dollar raise in the technology fee for this semester. The small increase may not seem that bad on paper but students like Betzabel Felipe who has already taken out a small loan to pay for her tuition has something to complain about. THIS IS A VALID POINT, BUT YOUR MAKING IT MORE IMPORTANT THAN IT ACTUALLY IS . . . AND THIS WEAKENS YOUR ARGUMENT, OR WHITNEY'S ARGUMENT RATHER. $25 SUCKS . . . BUT IT'S NOT THAT BIG A DEAL . . . UNLESS IT'S COMBINED WITH OTHER EXPENSES.
“I can’t stand how this damn tuition goes up every time I go to the Bursar’s Office, you can’t even go to school these days because the bill THE BILL? WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? YOU MEAN THE FINANCIAL AID CHECK DOESN'T COVER THE BOOKS? THE QUOTE DOESN'T MAKE SENSE doesn’t even cover books,” said Felipe. Betzabel was lucky enough to receive a job at the college this semester but even the budget cuts are affecting her there, as well.
AGAIN THIS IS DEFINITELY A STORY . . . BUT YOU NEED BETTER EXAMPLES OF HOW THE CUTS ARE IMPACTING STUDENTS AND BETTER QUOTES FROM YOUR SOURCES
The payment that students receive from the school’s work study program has also gone down. The amount that a student would receive from working at the school was anywhere from 12 to 15 dollars two years ago but now the average amount is from 8 to 10 dollars which some students depend on to help them stay in school. AN HOUR? YOU'VE GOT TO ATTRIBUTE THIS . . . SAYS WHO . . . HOW MANY HOURS A WEEK ARE AVAILABLE? HAS THIS DECLINED AS WELL?
Other students like Akiele Reason have been force to drop most of his classes due to cut backs on Financial Aid and scholarships. “They told me that I was making too much money working at Sears, I’m not paying that entire tuition for five classes, I can only take two this semester,” said Reason. GOOD QUOTE, BUT SET UP BETTER. HE'S NOW INELIGIBLE FOR FINANCIAL AID? HOW MUCH DOES HE MAKE? HOW MUCH AID DID HE USED TO GET? IS THIS A NEW PHENOMENON OR HAS IT ALWAYS BEEN THE CASE? REMEMBER, A BUNCH OF PEOPLE COMPLAINING IS NOT AUTOMATICALLY A STORY.
Not only has the budget cut added on pressure for students to pay their bills on time but it has also limited their extra curricular activities as well. There are currently 17 official clubs in John Jay and they all will be expecting a deduction in funds that help support their events. NOW WE'RE GETTING SOMEHWERE. MORE SPECIFICS NEEDED WITH ATTRIBUTION AND DOLLAR AMOUNTS BEFORE AND AFTER THE CUTS. THE SIGNIFICANCE OF HOW MUCH WAS CUT NEEDS TO BE SET UP BETTER BY LISTING HOW MUCH WAS THERE PREVIOUSLY? HOW ARE STUDENTS COPING? The Student Council Department ARE YOU SURE THIS IS THE NAME OF THE DEPT? who handles the clubs in John Jay received a budget cut of 30,000 dollars from the amount they had a last year. The main problem has stemmed from an increase in enrollment in John Jay and the growth of new clubs. CONFUSING . . . IF ENROLLMENT IS UP SHOULDN'T THE BUDGET BE INCREASED BECAUSE MORE STUDENTS ARE PAYING THE FEES? YOU ALSO NEED NUMBERS OF CLUBS, AMOUNT OF MONEY THEY'RE ASKING FOR, AMOUNT OF MONEY THEY'RE GETTING, AND HOW THIS HAS CHANGED FROM YEARS PAST
The Council can not take care of everyone.
Presidents and founders of the clubs are now facing the dilemma of how to keep their clubs from going under due to lack of funds. Founder of the John Jay
MORE SPECIFICS, NOT GENERALIZATIONS. LET THESE PRESIDENTS TALK.
NO MORE WHITNEY. FIND SOME OTHER SOURCES. Debate club Whitney Brown will have to manage without a promotion budget and a limited amount of traveling funds to help students get to debate tournaments. She claims that she has enough in the budget to send only half of the previous number of students to tournaments that she sent last semester. LET HER TALK, OR ACTUALLY FIND SOMEONE ELSE AND LET THEM TALK
Not only are the present clubs having trouble but the clubs that are trying to get started are not doing any better. Rachel Ramirez and Sif Az IS THIS HER NAME OR IS IT HER NICK NAME? DOUBLE-CHECK BECAUSE SHE'S IN MY OTHER CLASS AND I THINK YOU'RE MISSING SOME SYLLABLES started the Fiction Writing Association three semesters ago. The Association is a club made for student to express their artistic side through writing exercise which is something that can help them in the future. The two have not received funding for the publication to put out student’s stories. HOW MANY MEMBERS? WHY DIDN'T THEY GET THE MONEY? IS THIS TYPICAL? TALK TO THE PERSON THAT DIDN'T GIVE THEM THE MONEY FOR THE SAKE OF BALANCE.
“The students are getting cheated out of their college years, plain and simple, just because we always have idiots in power,” said Ramirez SET THIS QUOTE UP BETTER, BUT WATCH YOUR FOCUS. IS SHE TALKING ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO CUT THE BUDGET, ABOUT THE PEOPLE AT THE SCHOOL WHO ADMINISTER THE BUDGET, OR ABOUT THE STUDENT COUNCIL MEMBERS WHO CONTROL THE ACTUAL MONEY AND WON'T GIVE HER ANY?
The budget cuts are expected to run through the entire 2008-09 and 2009-10 school years. OBVIOUSLY, FIND A BETTER WAY TO CLOSE.
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