It is around 11 p.m; Hollan George is getting ready for work by making sure his blue security shirt is acceptable, sits down at his post shoeless, and gets ready for a long night.
It is just another day at the office for Mr. George as a John Jay college security guard. It can plainly be seen on his tired but focus face that he has just finished a four hour day of classes. George lets a long sigh as he says “The worse thing about the job is staying awake during the night shift, so you’ll do anything to stay up, like playing a “retard” version of stick ball with the other guards around you or eat food with sugar in it,” said George.
The life of a John Jay Security guard goes beyond any other departmental job. It may be the only job at the college where students are ordered to work a job shift of eight hours at any time of the day including at night, in order, to un hold the school’s safety. It is a job that requires them to deal with everything from validating parking to handling students drinking alcohol on campus.
Security guard Paul Treyman has been on the job for a year and so far he has seen his fair share of things that would scare people and have you bust out laughing. Treyman says with a smile on his face “Just today I had to carry a woman to the hospital because she was having a panic attack and later that day I was told by a student that she saw a girl in a bathroom stall with four men, I mean what the hell was she thinking, so I had to go handle it by kicking them out of the building. I didn’t even need to ask what she was doing, (laughs) feel me,” said Treyman.
The most ironic thing about it is that most of the people the guards watch over at the college may not get a chance to see what the guards do, which can cause a misconception of them.
Dixon Victory is a freshman who has already built his own image of the guards.
“The security around here is very loose; the system of signing students in if they do not have their cards is very bad because they can just write anything,” said Victory.
The guards are able to sense the lack of respect some of the student shave for them and it is also obvious from the similar answers that the student gave when asked about their colleagues’ protection.
“I know that they are students just like us so sometimes they will do their job and other times they will let their friends in without checking their cards,” said Krystal Jackson, a junior at the college
Kathy Bernard knows that the guards did show some favoritism towards certain students because she is one of them.
“The John Jay security guards are on a power trip, they need to go back to training but they still won’t serve a purpose” said Miss Bernard.
Miss Bernard is a graduate student who works for the Women Rights Center and is fed up with the guards’ hypocritical tendencies.
“They love raising their voices to tell me what to do and tell me not to double swipe when they do the same thing, and then try to act nice when they find out that I am apart of the staff which is not fair to the other students here,” said Bernard
The guards also have their own answer for the hostility they receive.
“All people think we do is sit on our ass all day, I must admit the job is easy for me but there is still the possibility of something going down” said George.
Security guard Jasmine Butler had the same misconstrued view of the guards before she started working four mouths ago and has already changed her mind.
“I have not seen some real action on the job but I did have a very bad view of guards before I became one, you have a better appreciate for the position when you are actually one of them,” said Butler
According to the Security Department manual, the position calls for students to complete a collection of training exercises that comes up to 24 state mandate hours. One of those exercises includes the students completing sixteen hours of lectures on the rules of the school, the security department, and what is expected of them as guards. As well as another six hours of probation on the job and the rest is made up on safety tips.
“We expect are guards to be mindful of people’s feeling, be aware of their environment, and protect the students of John Jay and their properties,” said Rabiyyah Williams, a Security Department’s offices employee who was also an ex-security guard herself.
The job also calls for the applicants to have the general of requirements of being an full time undergraduate with a GPA of at least 2.5. Their status must be above freshman level.
The guards are trained in CPR, crowd control, and the himelic maneuver for the students’ safety. There are also put on alert for any specific individuals that are planning to enter the school to harm a student; this service is especially good for the female student body that may have uncontrollable ex- boyfriends. There is a fair amount of homeless people in the area and it is their job to make sure that they do not come around the building to bother the students, which guard Franny Jerkins, say that may be the most difficult thing about the job for her.
“I demand people take me serious because if something happens then it is my fault,” said Jerkins
Regardless of the negative criticism the guards get, there are still some people who defend the guards no matter what. Allison Karvey, a history professor of four years at the college, was attacked by one her students a year ago who was found to be mentally unstable.
“I teach around 9 pm at the college so you really notice them and feel safe when they are around, they actual walk me to the train stations on some account to make sure I got there safely,” said Karvey
5 comments:
Starts out too informal, you should avoid using the term "you." Try to make the reader feel like an outsider looking in on a story or video clip. Instead of telling me to imagine, paint a picture. Also you should introduce Holland George. For example what does he look like? When you say "The life of the John Jay’s security guard goes beyond what is asked from most of the student body who also work at different departments at the college." You can rephrase it to, The life of a John Jay Security guard goes beyond any other departmental job." I think your information is good, but I can't see it or in other words imagine the griddy work of a security guard. Describe all the requirements in one hit, the need for physical fitness, a 2.5 average, and an 8 hour work shift. I like the ending quote, it leaves a powerful message.
I thought your lead was very creative for your subject. The lead created a unique glimpse of your subject, but don't start out with "imagine you." Instead use something similar to this example: "Finishing a four hour day of classes, then putting on a tight blue security guards uniform, and settling in for an eight work shift of sitting at a desk where barely anyone notices is what..."
I think that in your second paragraph you should introduce the security guard before using quotes. Your quotes and sources were good, but I think you should have added more details about each security guard. Your grammar still needs a little work. You need to work on sentence structure, misused words, and coma usage. Overall, your story is good, but it just needs more details about each security guard and their surroundings.
I like this a lot.
As opposed to Amanda, I like it being a bit informal. I agree on avoiding you, which I forget to do often.
Your biggest problem is a few missing punctuation marks (periods mainly) and one word or two with missing letters. So edit-edit-edit.
I like that you chose this topic because I also started security at a store earlier this year, still do it to, and I totally sympathize...and to find that they have to take classes on things like CPR is even more enlightening because I didn't know the extent they are trained.
I kinda wanted more personal opinions on the job because, being security, I know how good or bad it can be. Maybe quotes on how people perceive them, how they feel about people thinking they sit all day (and I mean some real comments, nothing sugar-coated), etc.
It's good too that you have that part on the professor--I think I had heard about that. Really shows how great the security is and how serious they take their job. Maybe if that person was accessible, it'd be cool to have a quote.
Anyways, good job, just watch your editing and add some more meat to make it even better.
you could have edited out the word retard from the security guards comments, by placing a different word in brackets, this would help to not offend the readers.
I don't understand the third sentence about it going beyond what is asked?
I suggest that you refrain from saying "the security's image" it doesn't really make sense, i know what you are trying to say but, you should say the guards image as that is more normal.
However one person of the school does appreciation the security guard with them being them. --- this sentence makes no sense to me at all. please clarify
Kevin,
Your classmates' comments are good. LISTEN TO THEM. I think your lead is O.K. though, given the nature of the story. JUST DON'T GET IN THE HABIT OF BEING THAT CASUAL. AND FIX AS BELOW FOR STYLE/GRAMMAR:
Imagine you just finished a LONG day of classes, and then you put on a tight blue security guard's uniform and settle in for an eight HOUR shift at a desk where barely anyone knows that you are there.
You can't edit "retard" out, and yes you risk offending the reader. Can you find a better quote?
It's HOLLAN GEORGE. NO "D."
The life of the John Jay’s security guard goes beyond what is asked from most of the student body who also work at different departments at the college. HOW SO? WHAT IS THIS GRAF TRYING TO SAY? YOU NEED A QUOTE AND IT'S TOO VAGUE.
It may be one of the only jobs at the college where students are forced to work a job shift of eight hours at any time of the day in order to up hold the school’s safety. The most ironic thing about it is that most of the people at the college may not get a chance to see what the guards do for the college which can cause a misconception of the security’s image.
FIX GRAMMAR IN THIS GRAF AND ADD QUOTES THAT EXPRESS THE MISCONSTRUED VIEWS THAT YOU'RE ABOUT TO SPEAK OF.
Security guard Jasmine Butler had the same misconstrued view of the guards before she started working four mouths ago and has already changed her mind.
“I have not seen some real action on the job but I did have a very bad view of guards before I became one, you have a better appreciate of the position when you are actually what has to be done,” said Butler
YOU NEED A QUOTE FROM THE SUPERVISOR . . . NOT JUST FROM THE MANUAL. According to the Security Department manual, the position calls for students to complete a collection of training exercises that comes up to 24 state mandate hours. The students must complete sixteen hours of lesson on the rules of the school, the security department, and what is expected of them as guards. As well as another six hours of probation on the job and the rest is made up of safety tips.
“We expect are guards to be mind full and aware of their environment, protect the students of John Jay and their properties,” said Rabiyyah Williams, a Security Department’s offices employee who was an ex-security guard herself. GOOD, MORE LIKE THIS.
The job also calls for the applicants to have the general of requirements of being an undergraduate and full time student with a GPA of at least 2.5. Their status must be above freshman level.
The guards are training in CPR for the students. AND ANYTHING ELSE? There are also put on alert for any specific individuals that are planning to enter the school to harm a student. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN EXACTLY? CAN YOU GIVE AN ACTUAL RECENT EXAMPLE OF THEM BEING ON ALERT? The is a fair amount of homeless people in the area and it is their job to make sure that they do not come around the building to bother the students which guard F. Jerkins say that may be the most difficult thing about the job for. WRITE OUT HIS NAME UNLESS HE'S A ROCK STAR
“People may just see us sitting down all day but that is all they mostly see,” said Jerkins NOT THE BEST QUOTE . . . DOESN'T SAY MUCH.
However one person of the school does appreciation the security guard with them being them. THIS SENTENCE MAKES NO SENSE.
Allison Karvey, a history professor of four years at the college, was attacked by one her students who was found to be mentally unstable a year ago.
“I teach around 9 pm at the college so you really notice them and feel safe when they are around, they actual walk me to the train stations on some account to make sure I got there safely,” said Karvey NICE QUOTE AT THE END.
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